The Newest Burden of Alagaesia
by CelticWater
Summary: What happens when two mentallychallenged Murtagh fangirls are kidnapped by a black cloud and end up in Alagaesia? Smartass talk, random outbursts, glomping, and Barbie invaisions, that's what! Rated T for language. R&R!
1. Attack of the Fangirls!

**Ok…this is my first crack at an Eragon Fanfic. It might be completely random and pointless at some points.**

**I advise that all Murtagh fangirls read this.**

**WARNING! If you're a prep, I _really_ advise that you _don't_ read this. You may find some content offensive…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Eragon_, Furbies, Starbucks, _Braveheart_, or—god forbid—Barbies. **

_**The Newest Burden of Alagaësia**_

**_Chapter Uno: When FanGirls Attack_**

A loud noise cracked and a big, thundering, black cloud filled the center of the throne room. Galbatorix leaned forward in anticipation as the cloud began to clear away. In mere seconds he would have another dragon egg, sent to him by the Ra'zac who had recently found it in Du Weldenvarden. All would be his again. No more would he be defied by that _farm boy_, Eragon. He would rule! Rule! RULE! MUAHAHAHAHAH---

A coughing came from within the cloud, disturbing his mind's evil ranting. Coughing? Eggs didn't cough, did they? Galbatorix cocked his head thoughtfully. Then, two voices emerged from within the cloud.

"Goddamnedmotherf---ingsonofawhore'sbitch'sbastardshit-headasshole—!"

"Lex, shut up and stop cussing!"

"Stop cussing?! I have every right to cuss, thank you very much! Since when do black clouds spontaneously appear in the middle of Placerville and devour 13-year-old girls?!"

"I don't know, just….shut up!"

More cussing continued, but in muttering form.

The cloud cleared away to reveal two adolescent girls, one tall and brunette while the other was of average height and blonde. The blonde, Lex, had her arms crossed and was muttering. Both were garbed in the strangest of clothing.

"You there!" Galbatorix barked at them. The two girls blinked and looked up at him. "What have you done with my egg?!"

Lex scratched her head and looked around the menacing, dark room. "This place looks familiar…," she said, ignoring the question. "What do you think, Jess?" She looked over at her friend and frowned. "Jess?" Jess was staring at a red map on the wall. The blonde stepped next to her friend and eyed the map. "Good god, that's a big map."

"Alagaësia…"

"Pardon?"

"Th-that's Alagaësia…"

Lex nodded slowly. "Riiiiight." She turned to the king. "And who're you supposed to be? The evil dude-whose-really-not-that-evil-looking and has a really long name from the movie _Eragon_? Cool, are we on the set? Did you guys do that black cloud thing? Why didn't you use such cool special effects in the movie? Wow, this place sure is dark. Very ominous. I like your taste. Oh my god, can we meet Garrett Hedlund? That would be soooo awesome! He's so hot! And what about the guy who played the old man? I want to meet him, too!"

Galbatorix blinked. This was not what he had expected by any means. "Erm…" he said.

"'Erm'? Is that the best you've got?"

The king's temper flared. "How dare you talk to me in such a way? I am your king!"

Lex snorted. "Yeah, because America has a king…good one."

Jess tapped her shoulder. "Um…Lex?"

"Your arrogance will not go unnoticed, wench! You shall pay! Don't think you—"

"Lex?"

"What?"

"You! Blonde girl! I am talking to you!"

"Ah, can it, old man."

"Lex?"

"Do not talk to me that way! I am—"

"—Our king. You said that already."

"—your ruler, and disobedience shall not—"

"Lex?"

"_What_, Jess??"

"—be tolerated! You will pay, girl! You and your little friend! All will—!"

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP, YOU POWER-OBSESSED FREAK OF NATURE?!?" Jess screamed.

Everyone, even the guards, stared silently.

Jess gave a little cough and smoothed her shirt. "Now," she said humbly. "Lex, I think this is real."

The brief silence was ended with Lex's cackling. "Right. Yeah, good one. Come on, Jess, you aren't really falling for this crap, are you? I bet this is some kind of reality show…or something like that." She hunched over and began to rasp. "Don't go to the daaaark side, Jess…'Tis what they want you to believe…" The guards, the king, and the brunette stared, each of them a bit frightened. Lex ran up to Galbatorix, kicked him in the shins, and shouted, "Toast!" before running back to Jess. Her best friend stared at her as the king swore, hopping on one leg, clutching his shin. "Sorry about that. Random outburst. Do continue."

"Mmkay…anyways, why would the crew of _Eragon_ kidnap us?"

"..Maybe they heard you threatening to kill them after they butchered up the book?"

"Good point, but that black cloud looked awfully real."

Suddenly the throne-room door flew open and a very agitated, hot man with dark hair strode in. "Galbatorix, the fan-girls stole Zar'roc again! I tried to get it back, but they're holding it ransom. They say I have to take off my tunic before they'll give it back! I told Thorn to burn them, but they unleashed their evil blue Furbies after him, and he locked himself in my room. He won't come out, and he's curled up on the floor muttering something about a "happy place", gods only know what _that_ is. So now I'm tired but I can't get in my room to sleep and if the Varden attack the palace, I won't have a sword to defend myself with! I—" He broke off when he saw Jess and Lex. The two girls had a blissful expression on their faces that the agitated, young, hot man could identify anywhere. "No…" he breathed, horror-struck. He would have run, but his legs were frozen in fear.

"Oh. My. God." Lex whispered.

"It's…"

"MURTAGH!" they chorused, shrieking. They charged towards him, full blast.

"No! No!! NO! NOOOOOOO!" Murtagh screamed, scrambling to get out of the way, but, alas, only to fail. With a squeal, the fan-girls launched themselves on Murtagh, hugging him to death.

"We love you, Murtagh!" they screeched, trying to kiss him.

"AHHHH!!!!" he yelled, trying to shake them off. "Galbatorix! Help! Wait, wait, no! Get off, you freaks of nature!"

"Aww, but Murty," Jess purred.

Lex exclaimed, "We're your biggest fans!" She then broke out giggling. **((Lex. _Giggling. _…scary image.))**

The throne-room door once again suddenly flew open. "Oh, Durzzy-Poo, you're _so_ romantic," a perfect voice purred from outside. Then, the most horrible pairing on earth—rather, Alagaësia—stepped into the throne-room. Even Jess, Lex, and Murtagh stopped their brawl in shock. Durza the Shadestood there with his arm around Arya's shoulders. The guards, the King, the Fangirls, and Murtagh stared openly. Durza and Arya stared back.

"Y-you're supposed to be in Panama!" Durza shouted suddenly.

"_I'm_ supposed to be in Panama?!" Galbatorix shouted back. "_You're_ supposed to be dead! And what are you doing with _her_???"

The couple stared at each other. "Uh…uh…" Durza suddenly did that little poof thing he does and poofed away in a cloud of black smoke.

"Coward!" Arya perfectly screamed. "Get your scrawny ass back here!" Durza hesitantly poofed back. With a smug look on her face, Arya leaned against the Shade. "Durzzy-Poo and I found that we have a lot in common, and have come to an understanding." She stood on her toes and kissed him.

"EWWWWWWW!" everyone shrieked. "OUR EYES!!!! THEY BURN!!! HELP!!! AHHHHH!!!!"

A certain Dragon Rider charged into the room, sword wielded. "Did someone say help?" he asked dramatically in a deep voice. Everyone stared at him. Eragon shrugged. "There's been nothing better than heroics to do since the—oh my garsh!" Everyone cringed, expecting him to see Arya and Durza swapin' spit. Instead, he ran up to Galbatorix and grabbed his hand, examining the King's nails intently. "You're nails are just way too long and black. Don't you know that's bad for your health?" He held up his own perfect nails for everyone to see. "See what a manicure can do for you? Trust me, strange-old-man-who-I-have-no-idea-even-is, I used to have that tricky nail problem, too, until I went to…Starbucks! They gave me the most perfect manicure ever!"

"Starbucks does coffee, moron," Jess grumbled. Lex would have been to one with the sarcastic remark, only she was too busy debating with herself whether Murtagh or Starbucks was better. Hard choice, poor girl.

Eragon stuck out his tongue at Jess. "They do manicures, too."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yah-huh."

"Oh no," whispered a guardsman. "I've heard legends about this. These two can go on forever like this." Everyone groaned.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-uh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah—OH MY GOD!"

Once again, everyone cringed, still expecting Eragon to see Arya and Durza (who were still making out.), but instead, he ran up to Murtagh. "Your scar!" he exclaimed, pointing at Murtagh's bare ribs. **((Lex had managed to rip of his tunic in the earlier brawl (and nearly fainted while doing so). Go Lex! WOOT!)) **"What's your scar doing on your side? Isn't it supposed to be on your back?"

Murtagh smacked the back of Eragon's head. "Yes, genius. For some screwed up reason the faggy director decided not to have the fan-girls faint and only had me lift up my shirt a little. So they put the scar on my side."

"I'm still _so_ gonna kill them for that," Jess muttered.

"Why'd they do that?" Eragon asked, oblivious that Murtagh had just explained it so him.

Murtagh threw his arms into the air, unknowingly causing his muscles to flex which then caused Jess and Lex to sigh. "The hell if I know! Do I look like the director?"

Eragon stared at him with a vacant expression. "Noooo…" he finally said.

"Thank god he doesn't," Lex and Jess chorused.

Arya finally unglued her mouth from Durza's. "Hey!" she shouted at Eragon. He looked over his shoulder to see if she was talking to someone else. When he saw there was no one being him, he swore, "Pillsbury Doughboy!" and looked up at the elf fearfully. Then he realized who she was. "Hey, you're Arya!"

She **((yes, perfectly))** rolled her eyes in that Mary-Sue way. "Yes, you stupid lowly human." Ouch, she's racist too. Or is it species-ist? Either way, she was discriminating Eragon. He, of course, didn't even notice and just let that stupid grin fall onto his face.

"You're purty," he droned.

Eragon then spotted Durza. "Oh, HI!!!" he said cheerfully, and waved. Durza blinked at him confusedly.

"Fine _don't_ wave back," Eragon muttered, crossing his arms.

"You moron!" Arya yelled jumping up and down and pulling at her hair **((which Paolini has kindly managed to describe how black and perfect it is, like 15 different times in the books))**. "I was just making out with your archenemy. Your _dead_ archenemy! And you don't even care?!"

"You're purty," was her repeated answer.

"Wait," Durza said, taking a step back. "You're only dating me to get back at him?" He held up a hand and looked away. "I feel so used," and with that, he poofed away.

Arya screamed in frustration and poofed away also, only her cloud was pink. Evil.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Durza poofed back. "Is she gone?" Everyone nodded. "Good, because she was way too Mary-Sue for me."

It was eerily quiet. Then: "You're purty." Eragon was still staring at the space where Arya was just standing.

"Eragon, you moron, she's gone," Murtagh said.

"You're purty."

"Shut up, that just sounds wrong."

"You're purty."

"Shut _up_," Murtagh yelled.

"You're pur—" He didn't get a chance to finished, because Murtagh shoved a sack over his head, wrangled him cattle-style, and threw him out of the window.

For the first time in their lives, Lex and Jess brought out pom-poms and began to cheer Murtagh on preppy-like. They only got stares. The two best friends looked at each other. "I knew cheerleading wasn't for us," Lex said sadly.

Jess shrugged. "At least now when our parents say we should get out and try stuff we can say, 'Hey, we tried cheerleading, and nothing came outta _that!_'" Lex nodded solemnly.

Then…it happened. _The_ song suddenly played through the throne-room. Of course, the residents of Alagaësia didn't know what it was (except that it was horrible, horrible music), but for Lex and Jess, that song was the announcement of the end of the world. "EVERYBODY RUN!" they screamed and grabbed Murtagh before towing him with them as they ducked behind Galbatorix's throne.

"Hey!" he protested.

"Don't worry, we're protecting you from…_them_," Jess whispered. "Lex stop staring at his abs and drooling."

Lex wiped her mouth. "Sorry," she apologized. Then, the lyrics to the song came on, and the resident's of Alagaësia realized, with a horrible truth, who "_they_" were.

"IIIIIIMA BARBIE GIRL, IN A BARBIE WOOOORLD!

I'M MADE OF PLASTIC, AND IT'S FANTANSIC!

YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR, AND—"

The residents of Alagaësia screamed in pain, covering their ears and sobbing in dread. The throne-room door**((a lot seems to happen to that door)) **suddenly was blown apart. Sounds of marching could be heard, and as the dust cleared away, small yet frightening forms were seen. A vast army of blonde Barbies was marching into the room, armed with tiny magenta machine guns and wearing pink camo. And, of course, those hideous, menacing grins displayed on their faces.

Their leader, a Ken doll, was at the head. It stopped, and the rest of the army stopped. Since it's eyes did't move, the Ken doll's head swung around as it scanned the room. "We have come for the one known as Murtagh," it said in that gay voice** ((I've never heard a Ken doll talk, but I imagine it would sound pretty gay)). **"Surrender him, and there will be no harm."

Behind the throne, Murtagh paled. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but thank you for hiding me," he said quietly to Lex and Jess.

The two didn't answer. Between the song and the dolls, Jess was too busy trying not to have a heart-attack, and Lex was staring at the Barbies from behind their hiding place, a confused expression on her face. "Those Barbies look familiar—" The blonde suddenly let out a low gasp. "Pink Division," she hissed.

Murtagh was about to ask what "pink division" was, when two skinny girls wearing mini-skirts and polo shirts stepped into the room receiving looks of respect from the Barbies**((can Barbies look respectful?))** One black-haired girl was chewing gum at an obnoxious level of volume, while the other blonde was chatting on her cellphone so fast, no one could understand what she was saying. The blonde gave a sudden high pitched squeal. "Okay, Heather! I, like, gotta go," she whined in that valley-girl accent. She snapped her cellphone shut and twirled a strand of permed hair with her finger. "So, like, where's that hottie Murtagh?"

"You!" Jess yelled, jumping from their hiding place. "What are you doing here?" she demanded angrily of the prep.

"Stay here," Lex whispered to Murtagh, then joining Jess.

The gum-chewing one blinked stupidly. "I like guuuum," she drawled, smacking her lips, while the blonde replied, "What are _we_ doing here? What are you _losers_ doing here? Get, like, out!

"We were here first!" Jess snapped. "No way in hell am I giving Alagaësia to you yuppies!"

"Losers!" the blonde shrieked into Jess's face.

"Prep!" Jess yelled back.

"Nobody!"

"Snob!"

"Like, slob!"

With every insult, the Barbies, Galbatorix, Durza, the guards, and Murtagh looked back and forth between the two girls.

"Pink-lover!"

"Sadistic freak!"

"Bitch!"

"Scum!"

"Close-minded, Bush-loving, abortion-hating, richie, backstabbing, white picket-fence, sheltered, bratty, selfish, wussy, slutty, _WHORE!_"

Everyone gasped. The blonde looked taken aback. "That, like, actually _hurt_…"

Jess crossed her arms and stuck her tongue out. "Well, it's all true, and I'm not takin' it back."

Galbatorix cocked his head. "Would someone mind telling us exactly why you two hate each other?"

The two groups blinked. "Sure," all four chorused.

"There's three divisions of the Murtagh Fangirls," Lex explained.

_Three?_ Murtagh thought, mentally groaning.

"Each of the divisions are sorted by what kind of personality the fangirls have."

"Pink is preppy and girlie and only knows anything about Murtagh because they watched the movie; they're too stupid to read," Jess said.

"And, like, Green Division is, like, sarcastic, dark, sadistic, freak-infested, and random," the blonde Pink Division, or P.D., leader shot back.

"Yeah. We are," Lex said smugly.

Durza frowned. "So what's the third?"

"Blue Division," a menacing voice suddenly cackled from above.

* * *

**Muahahaha, CLIFFY!!!...kinda...I dunno. Please REVIEW!!!**


	2. Of Furbies, Crazy Irishmen, and Weddings

**Chappy Two! WOOT WOOT! ----cough----anyways, here's where ya meet Blue Division...duh duh duuuuuh!**

**Disclaimer: Guess who owns Eragon? C'mon, guess guess! No, not the fangirl typing right now...

* * *

**

_**Chapter Two!**_

_**Of Furbies, Crazy Irishmen, and Weddings**_

_Durza frowned. "So what's the third?"_

"_Blue Division," a voice cackled from above. _

As everyone looked up, two girls jumped from the rafters, both wearing clothes way out of style, even by Jess's standards**((I'm not very fashion-wise XD). **One girl wore braces and horn-rimmed glasses, while the other _needed_ braces and had very, very buggy eyes. The two began to cackle very creepily. They stopped, coughed, took deep breaths from their inhalers, then resume cackling.

"What are _you_ two doing here?" Lex exclaimed.

One pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "We have come to capture Murtagh. Isn't that obvious?" she lectured in a nasally voice.

"Um…Murtagh isn't here," Jess said uneasily. "And he's definitely not hiding behind the throne with his shirt taken off." B.D. and P.D. leaders glanced at the throne greedily.

"Murtagh! _RUN!_" Lex screamed as the four division leaders took off towards the ornate chair. Murtagh scrambled up and tried to flee for his hot life, but he was too slow for the fangirls. Each division's leaders grabbed one of his bare arms and began pulling.

"He's, like, ours!" the preps screeched.

"Back off!" the nerds shot back.

"Ah! The pain!" Murtagh moaned.

"Barbies!" Blonde P.D. leader finally shrieked. "Attack!"

The Barbies gave a Nazi salute before swinging up their tiny pink machine guns and firing heavy perfume at their enemies. The geeks let go of Murtagh, coughing savagely. "Furbies!" they gasped as they hacked up their lungs. "Go!"

The menacing shriek of, "Furbyfurbyfurbyfurbyfurbyfurbyfurby!" came from above, and countless neon-blue Furbies dived from the rafters, devouring the screaming Barbies.

Now, throughout all this chaos, you might be wondering what everyone else in the room was doing. Durza was practicing his evil sneers in a mirror, Galbatorix was examining his nails, wondering if Eragon might have been right, and the guards were debating whether the Barbies or the Furbies were worse. Just had to clear that up. Now, back to the battle.

Once the Furbies began tearing heads and limbs off the Barbies with their razor-sharp beaks, it was evident that B.D. was winning. "Lex, we can't let either the Pink or Blue Division get Murtagh! We have to send in reinforcements!"

Lex's eyes widened at Jess's suggestion. She then grinned. "For the sake of all Green Division." The two then preformed a vastly complicated handshake before Lex snapped out her cellphone and dialed 777.

Someone picked up. "Hello?" a very loud voice asked.

"Hey, Kayla, it's me."

"Who?"

"Who else would it be?"

"Oh my god! Are you a stalker?!?"

"For god's sake—"

"—If you're a stalker, you must be…MR. HAFFER, HOW DID YOU GET MY PHONE NUMBER??!?!??!"**(( Mr. Haffner's our creepy homeroom teacher. Seriously, he looks in the girl's locker rooms…he's a perv…))**

Lex slammed the phone on the ground repeatedly. "Don't you ever, _ever_, _EVER_ call me Mr. Haffner!" she screamed.

"Oh, this must be Alexis. HI!"

If Kayla had been there, Lex's glare would have killed her. "This really isn't the time, Kayla. P.D. and B.D. are here, and they're trying to kidnap Murtagh! We need reinforcements, _now_."

Kayla gasped. "I'm on it!" She then hung up.

Lex stared at the buzzing phone. "Does anyone ever say 'bye' anymore?"

Durza poofed up to the two girls. "What's your reinforcements?" he asked nervously. The Shade didn't think he could handle more Furbies or dolls.

Jess opened her mouth to reply, when the sound of playing bagpipes filled the throne-room, drowning out the god-curst "Barbie Girl" song. The brunette grinned. "You'll see."

**((The next part you may not get if you haven't seen the movie _Braveheart_))**

"GO, CRAZY IRISH! CRAZY IRISH! CRAZY IRISH!!!!!!!!" came sudden several screams, and an army of medieval Irish Fighters with mingling Scots in between burst through the wall.

A particularly crazy Irishman screamed, "The Lord says you all are f---ed!" before joining his comrades in smashing the toys to tiny smithereens with various medieval weapons.

"WOOT! That's my Stephen!" Jess cheered.

"Jess," Lex muttered. "We've got more important things to do than cheering on crazy Irishmen!"

Jess sniffed. "They aren't just _any_ crazy Irishmen. They're _my_ Crazy Irishmen."

Lex rolled her eyes and grabbed her friend by the arm, sneaking up behind the B.D. and P.D. leaders, who were shaking off Barbies, Furbies, and Irishmen. Among the chaos, Murtagh wasn't be seen. "Where's…?"

Then, from behind a curtain, Lex could hear a muttered, "Find a happy place…find a happy place…find a happy place!" The blonde peeked behind the cloth to see Murtagh, arms wrapped around his legs, face buried in his knees, and rocking back and forth. "Find a happy place…find a happy place!"

"Uh…Murty?" she asked, tapping his shoulder.

Murtagh screamed and looked up. "Oh. It's you." He then jumped up, backing against the wall. "Stay away for me, you freaks!"

"Murty, we're the good guys," Jess said cheerfully. She then frowned. "I mean girls. Or, politically, guys would be correct, but not literally. And we're not that literal, but we're not really political either…so, that means—"

Lex whacked the back of Jess's head and said, "What psycho here is trying to say—" Jess beamed proudly. "—is that if you got captured by anyone, Green Division would be the best in your interest."

Murtagh shook his head rapidly. "I don't believe you!"

Lex rolled her eyes and was about to reply sarcastically, when someone roared, "EVERYBODY FREEZE!"

The battle halted and everyone turned heads towards the hole in the wall. There stood Nasuada and a large number of the Varden, all heavily armed.

"Oh, shite…" Jess muttered. "Here we go…"

Murtagh's hand instinctively flew to his side, but he only grasped thin air where Zar'roc's hilt should have been. He blinked and looked down. "I knew this would happen! I knew it!" he swore. "I told Galbatorix that I needed a second sword, but noooooooo. Spare swords are too expensive, he says. Then look what happens! I knew it, I knew it, I _knew_ it!"

While Murtagh was muttering about needing a sword, Nasuada glared everyone down until her gaze found Galby. "Galbatorix!" she roared. "We've come to free Alagaësia from your ruthless rule! For too long have this realm's peoples suffered your reign! Too long have malice, malady, and hunger plagued the land as you sit atop your throne! We have come t—MURTY!!!!" she suddenly screeched.

Nasauada sprinted across the throne-room, shoving Lex and Jess out of her way to grasp Murtagh into a bone-crushing bear hug. "I thought I'd never see you again!" the leader squealed.

"Hey, glomping's _our_ job!" Jess protested, chorusing with each division's leaders.

Nasuada hugged Murtagh even tighter. "I'm not glomping him, I'm rejoicing at our reunion," she cooed.

"…can't…breathe…" Murtagh gasped.

His only response was an even _tighter_ hug. "We'll have so much fun back in Surda! I've already planned out our wedding, and picked out my wedding dress—what do you think of the colour blue?—and I thought we could use Elva as our flower girl! I haven't decided on a ring-bearer, but I was thinking Orik. He's short enough, wouldn't you say? For our honeymoon I thought we'd go to a nice place called Panama, and I've already chosen our kid's names! Okay, I'd like a boy named Murtagh Jr., a sweet little girl named Sally, another girl named Selena, after your mother, and two little twin boys named Fred and Ted!"

Murtagh gave up his struggle to breathe, only to stare at Nasuada with a slacked jaw. "Wha…?"

Nasuada released him jumped up and down excitedly. "And I thought the perfect place for you to propose to me would be in Ellesmere, when the elves are singing and cute, fuzzy forest animals are everywhere. Wouldn't that be romantic?"

"HEY!" Galbatorix shouted. "Aren't we supposed to be in the middle of an epic battle for the empire right now?"

Nasuada bit her lip thoughtfully. "I'll tell you what," she said. "We'll come back next week. How about Thursday? 'Kay? 'Kay! Come on, Murty!"

"I can't," Murtagh protested. "Galbatorix made me swear in the Ancient Language that I'd never lea—"

GONG!

Murtagh's eyes rolled up and he collapsed to the floor, unconscious. Nasuada dropped the stone she used to knock him out and dusted her hands off. "Mmkay! See you next Thursday, Galbatorix." With that, she slung Murtagh over her shoulders and leap through the hole in the wall, disappearing with the Varden.

While everyone was trying to compute what happened, Lex's and Jess's jaws were dropped. "Oh no she didn't," Lex whispered. "She did NOT just take Murtagh from right under our noses!"

"Actually, I think she just d—" Lex's glare cut Jess off.

"Oi!" a Crazy Irishman exclaimed. The G.D. leaders gave him questioning glances. "Th'Barbies and Furbies are smashed, and we've tied the other Division leaders up." He pointed at the four girls, who were bound with rope and gagged. "Can we go now? We're gonna be late for a siege on York!"

Jess sighed. "I guess…"

The Crazy Irishmen cheered and charged out of the throne-room, chanting, "York! York! York!"

"Come on," Lex suddenly said. "We've gotta get Murtagh back!" Jess nodded, and the two girls ran towards the now-demolished door. They were pulled to a stop as the guards grabbed the hoods of their sweatshirts, yanking them backwards and pinning their arms to their sides. "Hey! What gives?!"

Galbatorix began to laugh evilly. "You really think I'm going to let you go, after you've disrespected me, humiliated me, and allowed my Dragon Rider to be captured by rebels?"

Lex struggled against the guard holding her. "Don't take your problems out on _us_, Lord Psychopath. Get a shrink!"

Galbatorix just laughed again. "To the dungeons with them!"

As the guards dragged the girls down the hall, Jess muttered, "Can he _get_ any lamer?"

The King jabbed a finger towards Durza. "Keep watch over them, Shade."

Durza's shoulders drooped. "I was afraid you'd say that," he said, and poofed away to the dungeons.

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**Okies, Chapter Two is DONE! I hope I dinnut offend anyone by stereotyping Blue Division. I just needed a social class, so I chose nerds. I myself am pretty damn nerdy. Hm, maybe I should be in B.D...**

**Anywhooz, I need some help, readers. For chapter three, I need the most annoying song you can think of, but it has to have been meant to be sad when it was written. Does that make any sense? Probably not, coming from me. Soooo...puh-lease list at least one sad, annoying song. It'd really, really help.**

**REVIEW!**


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